I hit a wall....

So, my friend talked me into trying out Crossfit. I went on Saturday to watch a workout. It was intense. It was strangers working as a team of 3 to finish the workout together and to finish it strong. And when they were done, they found a group not yet done and cheered them on. And told them they could do it. And wouldn't let them quit.

It was so opposite of what I expected. I honestly expected your typical 'gym' scene. You know, big meatheads walking around watching everybody else, flirting with all the size 2's in the room. By it was all sizes, shapes, colors, working together to get that workout done in true team fashion.

I decided to try it. Tonight was my first night. I'm starting off with their boot camp and I'll move on to the real Crossfit workouts when my body is ready.

And so tonight, it was an every man for himself workout in boot camp. Except it wasn't. They welcomed me right into the team and cheered me on.

I did a fit test so they could analyze where I am and what I could do and I hit right in the middle of most people. Not gonna lie, it was hard. Like way hard.

When Jen explained how my fit test would work, my goal for myself was 7. I thought, surely 7 is a good number. And it was easy.... At first.

And then, around number 6, it got hard. I had to tell myself to push it. But in being honest, I still wanted to quit. Like seriously. Quit.

And it was on that first pushup of number 6, y'all I swear, I heard my dads voice like he was right there, counting for me. He said 'Come on Sissy. You got this.' and it wasn't hard.

And he kept counting. And he kept saying 'Come on Sissy.'

And when I got up to do my squats for round 6, I swear I could see him standing at that gym door, on the sidelines, like he used to do when I played tennis all those years. He would always yell 'Good job, Sissy! Good job!'.

And just like that, he was standing at that gym door yelling for me. I could hear it clear as day.

And then it became emotional. I could do it. I would do it. All out. Nothing left, 100% every time, just like he taught me and just like he lived his life. All out.

And I finished. 8. Not 7 like I set out to do, but 8.

An as the night finished up, he was there. Watching. Cheering.

And on the way home, I sobbed. Like a baby. Because you see, the timing of this isn't lost on me. Between 4am and 7am early tomorrow morning, my dad took his final breaths on earth 6 years ago.

It's no coincidence I decided to start today. It's no coincidence I felt him there. He has always been my biggest cheerleader. Always believed in me. Always had a way of pumping me up to believe in myself like no one could.

And just when I feel like I'm getting used to this new life without him here, he shows up to show me he still believes in me, still has faith I can do it, still loves me.

And so tonight, more than ever, I will dad... I did, I still will....

Love you and miss you more than words could begin to say....