Set a goal....

I've set a goal for myself. I would like to lose 10lbs per month for the next year. I realize that at first, the weight will come off so much easier so I'm hoping I'm being realistic.

PCF is having 2 challenges to start off the year. First is run 10 minutes per day everyday for a year. I totally feel this is doable. Second is to not have any bread for a year. This means a breadstick, slice of bread, or a bun. I can still have tortillas so again I think this is doable.

And hey, trying and making it six months is better than never trying at all. Right?!

I've gotten 3 compliments in the last 3 days. It's given me just the boost I needed....

I am dad, and I will....

Good to be back!!

Tonight was my first workout after the holidays. It felt good. I tried to eat moderately as not to ruin everything I worked so hard for.

Feels good.... Even though it hurt...

Bonus....

I decided to not be so worried about eating Paleo while we are home. I knew my momma would be cooking up some of her yummy goodness and so I decided to make sure I work out everyday to counter it.

I did a 12 minute Amrap....
10 pushups
15 situps
20m walking lunges

I got 6 plus 7 rounds. Not to shabby.

It's cold here and the cold air filling my
Lungs felt good. I'm used to humidity filling them, but the cold air felt food.

Oh and the bonus? Mom said she can totally tell I've lost weight and inches. Just the boost I've been needing and the motivation to not blow everything I've worked the last 3 weeks for while we are home.....

My motivation right now?

The fact that I am not coming in dead last, many minutes after everyone else....

I refuse to be last again!!

For today's WOD and my time, see below...

Monday stunk.... But Wednesday came...

I just couldn't bring myself to go Monday. I was PMSing, and I just didn't want to move.

That attitude spilled over to today. But I made myself go. And of course I'm glad I did.

We did an Amrap workout which is 15 minutes doing as many rounds as you can.

5 dead lifts
7 pushups
9 box jumps

I did 10 plus 4.

I've been struggling with my eating. I'm still doing the six small meals a day but I'm over it. I need some Mac n cheese or mashed potatoes and gravy. I need a chicken fried steak or a pizza. I allow myself either a cheat meal once or twice a week. It's Wednesday night and Sunday lunch. I didn't cheat tonight and I should be proud but I need some carbs. Oh I need some carbs. I know this is mental and I'll get through it.

I have an issue with weighing myself. I don't want to become obsessed with a number. I know me. If I don't lose significant amounts of weight each time I step on the scale I will just give up and quit. I have such a huge amount to lose I don't want to let a number stop this. I know I'm losing. I'm eating no sugars, no carbs, only filling my body with lean proteins and veggies with some fruit. I know that's good. And I know my clothes are fitting different.

I've only been at the Crossfit thing for 3 weeks. So I know I still am new at it. Thy say it takes 4 weeks for someone to notice a change in themselves. I'm praying I see something big. They say it takes 8 weeks for friends to notice and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice. I just need to hang on 9 more weeks. If I can do that.... I know I can keep on.

I feel it....

Y'all the weight is coming off. I still jiggle but I'm not as jiggly when I run. My workout clothes are less tight and I feel good.

I needed some confirmation tonight.... And I got it.

Completed the below WOD in 12:58 and for the first time, I wasn't dead last!

Last night

Last night was one of those nights where I did everything I could to NOT go workout. I really wasn't feeling it. I went. I did it. But really was just blah. I know what I'm doing is good and good for me but sometimes I just don't want to do it.

Last night was a cheat night. I chose spaghetti. I didn't enjoy it. I literally can't eat as much as I used to stuff my face with and so that's good. It's crazy to think the bad stuff doesn't appeal to me anymore.... All from eating right!

Cheat Meal

I've been eating a fairly strict paleo diet since starting crossfit. The only exception is the yogurt I have for breakfast.

I'm allowing myself one cheat meal per week right now so I feel some sort of freedom and also for the sake of my sanity.

So Sunday I was craving Chuys and their delicious dip. So we went and I had quesadillas. After about 5 bites I was sick. Like sick. Could puke sick.

And it's then that it hit me. I've always eaten until stuffed. And eating whatever I wanted. I moaned all the way home. I was miserable. I felt gross. Eating paleo makes me feel good. I'm not stuffed. It's not heavy. I eat and feel I could run to Lubbock and back.

My body has been crying out far too long at what I've been feeding it. So thankful to have finally figured this out.....

Brutal

That might be the only word to describe last nights workout.

We started with warmup that was stretches and sprinting. Then we went inside and did some bar work. Then came the workout.

As a group we squatted, kettle belled, burpeed, and sat up. You had to work
For 30 seconds at each exercise. When you were done the next person in the group went. We did two rounds of each exercise. It was hard y'all.

Then we rowed as fast as we could for 100 m. I did good. And one of the Coaches Shawn was in my ear yelling 'go go go! Get in the 130's. You got this. Go!'.

I haven't been pushed that hard since I was in high school and a varsity athlete on a nationally ranked team. It was hard. But I loved it.

It's good to be pushed.

Helen...

Helen is a type of WOD. Apparently she's tough. I didn't realize it because they are all tough workouts. So....

Helen was a 400 m run, 21 kettle bell swings, and 12 pull ups. Then repeated 3 times. I completed Helen in 19:35.

The boot campers did this workout 6 weeks ago and they all finished 2 minutes better so I'm hoping I see those same results in 6 weeks.

Last night was equally as tough. I'm amazed at what my body will take in 15-20 minutes. It takes a beating. A brutal beating. But I know that I only have to bust it for that long and it's over.

Y'all I feel great. I sleep better, I feel good after workouts, I'm eating no sugar or starches, and yogurt is my only source of dairy twice a day.

I've gone to six small meals and it's amazing how my body has already responded. In this week alone I feel great.

Crossfit isn't for everyone but I love it and am thankful for it!!

Well that was fun...

I'm still going strong. Bootcamp took some time off last week and speed were out in full force tonight. Ouch is all I can say....

Hoping to share some before photos. Trying to work up the courage cause once their there, their there....

I hit a wall....

So, my friend talked me into trying out Crossfit. I went on Saturday to watch a workout. It was intense. It was strangers working as a team of 3 to finish the workout together and to finish it strong. And when they were done, they found a group not yet done and cheered them on. And told them they could do it. And wouldn't let them quit.

It was so opposite of what I expected. I honestly expected your typical 'gym' scene. You know, big meatheads walking around watching everybody else, flirting with all the size 2's in the room. By it was all sizes, shapes, colors, working together to get that workout done in true team fashion.

I decided to try it. Tonight was my first night. I'm starting off with their boot camp and I'll move on to the real Crossfit workouts when my body is ready.

And so tonight, it was an every man for himself workout in boot camp. Except it wasn't. They welcomed me right into the team and cheered me on.

I did a fit test so they could analyze where I am and what I could do and I hit right in the middle of most people. Not gonna lie, it was hard. Like way hard.

When Jen explained how my fit test would work, my goal for myself was 7. I thought, surely 7 is a good number. And it was easy.... At first.

And then, around number 6, it got hard. I had to tell myself to push it. But in being honest, I still wanted to quit. Like seriously. Quit.

And it was on that first pushup of number 6, y'all I swear, I heard my dads voice like he was right there, counting for me. He said 'Come on Sissy. You got this.' and it wasn't hard.

And he kept counting. And he kept saying 'Come on Sissy.'

And when I got up to do my squats for round 6, I swear I could see him standing at that gym door, on the sidelines, like he used to do when I played tennis all those years. He would always yell 'Good job, Sissy! Good job!'.

And just like that, he was standing at that gym door yelling for me. I could hear it clear as day.

And then it became emotional. I could do it. I would do it. All out. Nothing left, 100% every time, just like he taught me and just like he lived his life. All out.

And I finished. 8. Not 7 like I set out to do, but 8.

An as the night finished up, he was there. Watching. Cheering.

And on the way home, I sobbed. Like a baby. Because you see, the timing of this isn't lost on me. Between 4am and 7am early tomorrow morning, my dad took his final breaths on earth 6 years ago.

It's no coincidence I decided to start today. It's no coincidence I felt him there. He has always been my biggest cheerleader. Always believed in me. Always had a way of pumping me up to believe in myself like no one could.

And just when I feel like I'm getting used to this new life without him here, he shows up to show me he still believes in me, still has faith I can do it, still loves me.

And so tonight, more than ever, I will dad... I did, I still will....

Love you and miss you more than words could begin to say....

Here goes nothing..........

I'm starting Boot Camp tonight... And come January I'll be taking part in CrossFit.

It's going to be hard. This I know. But I can do this... And I will.

Something new....

Got something new up my sleeve. Check back tomorrow to see how it goes.....

Brutal wind...

We made it, but it was brutal...

Pit stops

Todays run was full of pit stops...
To talk to a boy who appeared Reese's age....
To pick up some pine cones...
To play at the park...
To stop for lots of drinks...
To have to go home early for the restroom....
To fix a bike helmet...
But maybe taking my kids with me on these runs is good for my soul...
All too soon Reese will be at school and these morning won't be possible for the three of us.

Life is short. Garrett's childhood best friend died this past week at age 29. Life is short as we were so reminded hearing that news.

A healthy me will be a better mom, wife, friend, and person... The journey will be long but I know worth it...

I did, dad, and I will again...

Run like the wind....

And with these new kicks, I will.....

Round 2...

Went 2 more miles tonight....

I did, dad, and I will...

Running buddies...

This cutie and her brother made the 2mile trip with me. R rode his bike and P got pushed in the stroller. It made the trip longer, but the quality time with my babies is more than worth it....

Here we go....

I couldn't have picked a better night to start or restart or whatever...

A cold front is moving in and it drizzled on me the whole way.

After dark made it so much more peaceful too. The hustle and bustle of coming home from work didn't fill the streets.

I did it, dad and I will...

A promise...

Meet my dad.

THE Greatest man I've ever known.

Kind, generous, God fearing, loving, funny, athletic, selfless, compassionate, energetic, strong, passionate, gentle, warm, fun, and amazing don't even scratch the surface.

He was and is the standard I hold anyone in my life to.

To say I miss him is an understatement.

He died at the age of 46 due to complications from colon cancer.

He had walked me down the aisle just one month before he gained his angel wings.

During the two years he fought cancer, we had some of the greatest conversations we'd ever had.

We talked about life and how it would be without him here.

And he made me make him a promise.

He wanted me to lose weight. If even just 15 lbs, he knew this disease could so easily attack me and he wanted it to never tarnish my life.

And so I promised him I would.

But I didn't.

Instead, I gained weight.

I made a feeble attempt about a year ago to start running.

I did ok.

I ran some 5K's.

And then I found out about P and it all went by the way side.

But it's time.

And I'm ready.

And I'm praying this blog will help keep me accountable, since it's out there for all to see.

I could use your encouragement.

I could use prayers.

I have a lot of weight to lose.

I don't have much faith in myself.

But I want this more than anything.

I want it for me, my kids, and for him.

And so I will, dad, I will...